Writing a love letter—like a real, actual letter—is a lost art. Why say it in words when you can just send them a TikTok, amirite?
And while sharing a video or meme with your lover can actually be a good way to strengthen your bond, there’s something classic and romantic about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and telling someone how you feel.
“When crafting a love letter, you give yourself the opportunity to focus on your feelings toward your partner. You pause, reflect on why you love them, and then articulate those emotions into words,” writes The Gottman Institute. “It’s not merely stating ‘I love you.’ It’s delving into the specifics of why and sharing those sentiments.”
Founded by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, The Gottman Institute has spent around 50 years researching all aspects of love. So, yeah, they know what they’re talking about.
Wondering how to write a love letter?
Fret not, you don’t need to become an Elizabeth Barrett Browning or Pablo Neruda overnight. (Although if you’re looking for inspiration, Neruda’s Love Poems and Browning’s Sonnet 43—aka “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways”—are certainly worth the read.)
But seriously, it doesn’t need to be complicated to make an impact. Here are three tips from The Gottman Institute:
1. START WITH FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION.
This could look like:
“‘I love that you ____’”
2. SHARE YOUR ANTICIPATED JOURNEY TOGETHER.
This could look like:
“‘I am excited for ____’”
3. RENEW A PROMISE.
This could look like:
“‘I promise to ____’”
Yep, it’s really that simple. Now, go get writing!