Start a playful rivalry.
If he’s wearing a sports team hat, whether you know anything (or care at all) about sports, try giving him a breezy little “Go x” when passing and name his team’s rival team, or another team in the same city. For example, if he’s wearing a White Sox hat, try slipping in a “Go Cubs” in passing. It’s not aggressive—just light and silly. And it lets him know you’re a little clever. Maybe he might want to teach you a thing or two after. We can tolerate a little mansplaining for a midnight smooch or a flirtatious exchange, right?
Befriend the friend.
If you’re out and feel too nervous to chat up the guy you’re crushing on, try approaching one of his friends. Choose someone who seems easy to talk to and doesn’t make you nervous. We’re not saying to flirt with him, but being in the proximity of someone whose attention you want gets you closer, literally. It also shows you’re friendly and know how to have a conversation about anything. This might be a long game, but your crush is gonna wonder why you’re not talking to him.
Make it medium-rare.
Don’t be afraid to roast a man, but don’t overdo it. He’s showing up to the party raw and fresh, and he’s not there to get absolutely cooked. Don’t obliterate him with insults. There is a delicate art form of poking fun without being aggressive or overly cutting. Make sure they know it’s because you like them, and you’re not trying to hurt them. Negging is a little overrated, so stay playful. You have to reel ‘em in with a little poke, then soften.
Get out of the house.
Get off the apps and out of your head. We are talking in-person approaches here. For the most part, women just have to breathe the same air as a man and glance in their direction. Try a little eye contact with the cutie in question at your next outing. If he keeps glancing back, hold your gaze for a little longer each time ‘til he’s absolutely confident that approaching you will pay off.
Say what?
If you find yourself in light conversation with the guy, lean in close. Maybe pretend you can’t hear him. Don’t hit him with a loud and obnoxious, “What?” But rather, lean in close, get your lips near him, let him smell your neck or your hair, and say something like, “Can you say that again?” And get cozy. He’ll be confronted with your presence, not to mention your pheromones, and you two can become piqued from there.
These might sound a little scary, or maybe a little no-brainer for our femme fatales. But in a digital age, where no one approaches anyone anymore because we spend our time hiding behind screens and non-committal apps, these takes could be the refreshing confidence boost you—or he—needs to make something happen IRL.